Emotional Intelligence Part 2 – Emotional intelligence includes, after the perception of one\’s own emotions and the emotions of others, also to control or regulate one\’s own emotions.
The processing of a stimulus in the brain always goes
- with a physical reaction (e.g. muscle tension),
- with an emotion,
- with a thought and then
- with a typical action
accompanied by a reaction.
Since the limbic system fires extremely quickly, it is important for emotion regulation to extend the so-called stimulus-response gap so that we can react to the stimulus in a more controlled and conscious manner. We can start at all four points for this.
Here is a possible tool for emotion regulation on the thought level: Self-Talk.
The power of thoughts
Your inner thoughts can fuel and amplify an emotion, or they can put it into perspective, redirect it, or weaken it. Thoughts can even trigger intense feelings detached from a real situation, because your body doesn\’t distinguish between real situations and mental ones. You can try to regulate a feeling by your inner monologue, that is, by words that you speak silently to yourself or by thoughts that you actively think.
To cope with strongly emotional or even stressful situations, we need a mental instruction that has a clear effect (self-instruction).
Tips for self-instruction (self-talk):
👉 Use short sentences. (\”This is normal!\” \”You can do it!\”).
👉 Phrase positively. (\”Stay calm\” instead of \”Don\’t be afraid.\”)
👉 Give yourself directions for action.
👉 Address yourself directly. (First person sentences or dialogue partners)
👉 Avoid \”hopeful sentences.\”
👉 Develop positive strategies. (If-then scenarios)
📌 Emotion regulation is an important control tool for our physical as well as emotional sense of well-being. At the same time, it helps us stay in or return to self-efficacy, which is an important component of stress management.
What emotion regulation tools do YOU use?
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